My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
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