using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
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They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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