A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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