My first STD was from a foam party
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
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