His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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