then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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