are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
And then he peed in my hair
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