I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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