I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize