you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize