I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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