It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize