it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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