Plan B is the new Plan A
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Im part way to drunk.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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