i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
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