Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize