I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
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When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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