If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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