Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I can't put those talents on a resume
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
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