so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize