When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
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He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
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It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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