p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize