do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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