Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
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somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
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She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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