so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
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Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
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Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
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