im holly from the hills drunk
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize