Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
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Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
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Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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