And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
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Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
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THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
you never un-have a 4some
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