The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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