You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize