if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize