theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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