I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there were birth control emojis
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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