I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
honey bunches of taint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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