You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize