Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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