when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
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Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
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I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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