I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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