i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
People with herpes should wear stickers.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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