: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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