his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
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walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
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Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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