is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
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If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
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You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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