We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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