i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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