yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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