Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
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I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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