How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
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I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
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Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
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