Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
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