I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
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I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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