Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize